Top 10 Best Taco Bell Menu Items
Taco Bell is my favorite restaurant in the world. Not only do they provide delicious, cheesy, melty food at an affordable price, but they understand their consumer base better than any other fast food chain I can think of. The fact that they stay open sometimes until 4am shows their love for fat people with beer munchies getting out of bars and wanting 4th meal - or sometimes 5th meal. Let’s discuss my favorite things to order!
10 - Enchirito
Thanks to my good friend #kurtfisette for introducing this to me in middle school. I always said “the best food is just meat cheese and sauce” and this is exactly that. It’s so saucy and cheesy, you eat it with a spork. Double points for only providing sporks.
9 - Double Decker Taco
I sometimes can’t decide if I want a taco or a burrito. This provides both. The man who thought of this is as brilliant as the man who innovated the idea of putting a toilet indoors. It’s so simple!
8 - Grilled Steak Taquitos
I consider these lil Taco Bell appetizers. Sometimes all you want is cheese and steak. That’s exactly all these little suckers are. Or you could get like, 20 of them and snack on them like a box of Cheez-Its.
7 - Crunchwrap Surpreme
I don’t know why this frisbee is so alluring. It’s probably cuz it’s shaped like a Frisbee. To be honest, I don’t necessarily like this item, and I rarely order it, but when I get a craving for it, it’s terribly powerful. Sometimes you just need to eat a taco Frisbee. (It’s very messy though for men with handlebar moustaches, ie me.)
6 - 1/2 Combo Burrito
"Hi. Could I get a 1/2 lb of food jammed into a burrito? Thanks." What a gluttonous gem! I honestly don’t think there is enough in this burrito. More is more, Taco Bell. Take note.
5 - Beefy Melt Burrito
This is a new menu item and probably won’t be around for long, so if you’re reading this and haven’t tried one yet, do so immediately. I get mine without rice, cuz I hate rice. But three kinds of gooey cheese, sour cream, beef, and photoshopped steam make this 99¢ wonder worth more than every penny.
4 - Hard Taco
Get Hard. Soft tacos are for girls. This is the foundation of Taco Bell and for 89¢, it’s heaven on earth. I recommend consuming 20 in 30 minutes. As a teen, eating 12 in one sitting was nothing. Crunch!
3 - Beefy 5-Layer Burrito
Refried beans, beef, sour cream, cheese wrapped in cheese? Oh god… what a glorious treat! Lather this sucker up with Fire sauce and you’re in for a world of food hugs.
2 - Grilled Stuffed Burrito
This is the only menu item that I get that can fill me up on its own. It’s a steak meal in a crunchy, yet chewy tortilla. I get it with no rice, though, so to supplement the rice, I get usually another menu item to go with it. Ugh… I want one right now.
1 - Cheesy Gordita Crunch
I hate the gorditas and chalupas generally, so when I was pressured into getting this food item, I was skeptical. Then I was orgasming. Cuz it was phenomenal. Take a normal taco and add a mystery sauce. (The sauce is probably not a mystery, but I sure as hell can’t pinpoint it.) Add melty cheese to the outside of the shell wrapped in a fluffy gordita shell and you have a warm pillow for your face. This is ordered every time I walk into a Taco Bell. Even if I just ate one, stepped outside to fart, and then walked back in.
Honorable Mention: Cheesy Beef and Bean Burrito
I don’t know what happened to this burrito, but it was exactly as the title advertised. Cheese, Beef, Bean. That’s it. The cheese was not that nacho cheese crap, but melted delicious cheese, with refried beans and straight up beef. I miss this item and wish it came back.